


The Ties that Bind

by TeriTheTacticalUnicorn



Series: The Ties that Bind [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lost Love, Past Blackwall | Thom Rainier/Female Lavellan, Past Female Lavellan/Solas, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Remembering Past Lives, angst to the umpth degree, flufffff, smut in later chapters, timeline Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-27 20:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18746521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeriTheTacticalUnicorn/pseuds/TeriTheTacticalUnicorn
Summary: Irys Lavellan-Rainier is a single mom and Neurosurgeon who's firefighter husband died tragically a year before the beginning of this story. Her dreams are so vivid, and so real, she has a hard time believing them to be just dreams. Can Irys separate dreams and fantasy from real life? What do these dreams mean?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no IDEA how this came to be a thing, but it is. If you like it yay! If not, I'm sorry.

It had been quiet, the last twelve years. She had grown to love someone else - someone that wasn’t Solas. And now, she held Thom’s ashes in her wooden hand, tears streamed down her dirty face as her husband’s ashes were caught by the warm Antivan breeze.

 

This was supposed to be a happy occasion, full of nameday wishes and festivities. Instead, Irys’ ball turned into a courtyard full of her friends and family’s ashes.

 

She knew what was happening, the price she paid for loving the Dread Wolf and not having the heart to kill the man when she had the chance over a decade ago.

 

Irys’ children clung to her left shoulder as they cried; Solana was trying to console her younger brother and sister while she watched the man who raised her reduced to ash before her eyes.

 

It had been faster than a blink; every human, Qunari and dwarf that had been in Antiva had just fallen where they stood, into a pile of ash. Few humans remained, only because one of their parents were most likely elven. Wiping her face, Irys turned to her children and wrapped them in her arms. She hurried them into the large estate that now reminded her too much of Josie. She needed to return to Skyhold as soon as possible. Sera was nearly hyperventilating in the foyer as she knelt in front of another pile of ash; Dagna.

 

“Sera, SERA! We need to get my children out of here and back to Skyhold.” Irys said, snapping her fingers in front of Sera’s face, “Sera, I know it’s hard. But we also know who is to blame here.” Irys hugged her friend as she helped her up, They needed to go, _now._

 

Sera stood, not meeting Irys’ eyes but nodded, “Let’s go get that bald arse-biscuit.”

 

It took only a half hour to prepare a carriage themselves. Solana, Thomas and Thania were asleep inside the carriage before the horses were ready. Ten more minutes and Irys had traded her thin Antivan silks for her Inquisition armor, shoving the thin gown into her trunk before strapping it down alongside her children’s things.

  


It took a fortnight to get home to Skyhold. Saving time crossing from Kirkwall to Jader cut two weeks off of their journey, though Kirkwall was barely functioning when Irys took her children to her large mansion in Hightown. Thankfully, everything was still intact. The elves still staying to the alienage or had left Kirkwall altogether.

 

Sera held Thania close to her chest and Irys had Thomas to hers while Solana rode on her own horse. Skyhold had yet to go dark as Irys saw the torches behind soldiers on the battlements. The question on her mind was: were they her soldiers, or the Dread Wolf’s?

 

She heard someone shout to open the gates; her soldiers, then. “My Lady Rainier, one of the elves surrendered while you traveled from Antiva, we were very sorry to hear of what happened.” One of the soldiers, Leo, told her as he took the small toddler from Irys and Sera led him into the keep with Thania. Solana stood next to her mother, the thirteen year old had a bow hung over her shoulder and looked very much like her father, especially in her eyes.

 

Cullen pushed through the small group that had gathered as a stablehand took the horses and led them to the barn. “Lady Irys, I put him in chains. I thought you’d want to deal with him yourself.”

 

Irys’ emerald eyes widened. _Solas._ He turned himself over to the Inquisition?

 

The last time she had seen Solas, he was talking about burning her world in chaos, so she wondered why he would allow Cullen to put him in chains. “He can sit down there until morning, Cullen. I am tired, as are my children.” Cullen only nodded, bowing to Irys and Solana.

 

She put her wooden arm around her teenage daughters shoulders as the two walked into the keep.

 

Solana knew who her father was, and that he hadn’t known about her existence for her safety. She was actually clinging to her mother now, “Mamae, can I sleep in your bed tonight?” With a nod and yawn from her mother, she opened the door to the tall tower. Her mother helped unbraid Solana’s dark brown hair and brush it out, she knew she looked like _him_. Her mother had ash blonde hair and green eyes, Solana had brown hair and dark blue and violet eyes. Solana had magic, her mother did not.

 

Irys unstrapped the wooden arm from her shoulder; Dagna had runed it to work as well as the one she had lost. Looking at the large canopy bed, Solana was already asleep. Quietly, Irys made her way to Vivienne’s old overlook and balcony, opening the doors as she looked out over her home and trying not to think of his last words to her twelve years ago. She’d been in such a rush to save him from the Vidasaala when he didn’t need saving. She tried to coax him out of his plan to tear down the veil, because at that point, her world was the most beautiful thing, because she had Solas’ child waiting for the both of them to return home to Skyhold.

 

But that didn’t happen, did it? No. He left her there as her arm magically melted away after he kissed her. She could see herself kneeling in the crossroads, tears running down her pale cheeks as she watched him walk through the eluvian and disappear. Someone tapping on her shoulder reminded her that she was reminiscing on things she didn’t want to remember.

 

“My Lady, Solana was seen entering the dungeons--” Irys didn’t let the guard finish before she ran down the stairs from the overlook, outside, and into the dungeons like her life, or her child’s life depended on it. She saw Solana, standing in front of one of the cells near the broken back wall. She wasn’t talking, just staring as her mother, clad in a loose shirt and leggings, stepped up next to her, putting her right hand on her hip.

 

“Solana, you should be in bed, vhenan.” Irys said and Solana shook her head.

 

Solana was staring at Solas, who seemed struck dumb at the young teenager in front of him. “You’re him. Fen’Harel. Aren’t you?” Solana asked, shifting her weight just as her mother did.

 

“Solana, this is not the time. You can speak with him after I have.” Irys said, this time Solana nodded and headed back up the stairs.

 

“You have raised a beautiful young woman, vhenan.” Solas said as he turned his attention towards Irys, who stood, unflinching at his gaze.

 

Irys wanted to hit him, wanted to stab him, maybe cut off his arm so he would know how difficult it was for her. She put those petty thoughts aside for a moment and took a deep breath before stepping closer to the cell door. “Why are you here, Solas? You’ve already taken thousands of lives.” Nope, there was that rage she had kept bottled up.

 

“I realized too late what I had done, your words rang in my ears as if you stood beside me.” Solas’ eyes pierced her heart and he looked truly beaten.

 

Irys didn’t believe him, “your apology will not bring Thom back, or Josephine, or Dorian. Why are you really here Solas? You’ve already cost me my husband, do you plan to take my daughter next?”

 

Solas’ eyes turned to steel before he spoke. “ _Our_ daughter, and no.”

 

Now Irys was fuming, “No, Solas. She is not _our_ daughter. Solana was born here, in Skyhold not seven moons after you disappeared. I soothed every demon from her dreams, every fever, been present for every magic lesson and archery training. When I tried to tell you about her, you told me you were going to let this world burn in raw chaos. My children deserve _this_ world, because I made it better by defeating Corypheus.” Irys was on a roll as she watched Solas’ eyes turn to shock; she had never dared talk down to him when she was Inquisitor.

 

“Do you want to know who was there, Solas? Thom. He raised a child that was not his blood, gave me two more beautiful children and you took him from me. He taught my daughter how to be honorable, loyal and trustworthy. Now my husband is ashes spread by a warm Antivan wind. You have no right to say Solana is _your_ daughter when you must’ve found out of her existence, yet did _nothing_ .” Irys finished. She wanted to hurt him, she wanted him to feel as she did when he told her she couldn’t join him. She turned to leave, but before she took the first step up towards the door, Irys turned to Solas, “I named her after you, because you were my best friend. I _loved_ you, Solas…” With that, Irys ascended the stairs, leaving Solas to his thoughts and ordering a guard to make sure Solana didn’t return until Solas’ judgement.

 

Making her way to The Herald’s Rest, Bull met her at the door and embraced her. She hadn’t cried so hard in nearly four years, since her twins were born. Thomas looked so much like his father; his messy raven hair was always tousled. Thania looked like Irys, long blonde curls and beautiful blue eyes like Thom’s. Now she had to render judgement to the man she once believed to be her soulmate.

 

That just made her cry harder into Iron Bull’s chest. Thom was gone, Josephine, Dorian… people she loved, trusted, and she would never see them again. She felt like the walls were falling down around her; walls she meticulously placed after Solas told her she would only have a few years of relative peace. It was a rough night, Cullen had pushed Solas’ judgement another day when he saw her passed out on a bench in the small tavern.

  
  


After a few pints of maraas-lok the next night, Irys was good and drunk, laughing and crying at the same time as Sera did Solas impersonations. “You know, he’s in the dungeon. You could show him these, Sera.” Irys said before she could stop herself. She could see the torch light in Sera’s eyes as she smiled evilly. Irys nearly spilled her drink on Varric as Sera grabbed her by the arm and led her across the courtyard to the dungeon door.

 

“I may not be all mister shiv-happy spy thingy, but you are still in love with the bald-arse. Lesgo.” Sera’s words were slurred as the two carefully descended the stairs, bypassed Solas’ cell and just sat on the edge of the broken dungeon as they watched the waterfall. They had done this many times over the past decade, just sat in the dungeon and watched the waterfall.

 

Solas had tried to get their attention, to no avail. They were decidedly avoiding him. He could hear them whispering, a few choice words flew at him from Sera. She and Irys were talking in hushed, whispered giggles when Bull joined them. Dagna had made runed cuffs just for Solas in case they finally caught him; it would stop his magic and he wouldn’t be able to take them off himself.

 

Irys believed it was better than the alternative, her sword coming down on his neck would probably scar her daughter for life. More likely, it would make Solana hate her mother.

 

Suddenly, Irys’ eyes snapped open...


	2. Chapter 2

The Ties that Bind: Ch 2

  
  


Irys blinked a few times before grunting and turning over to switch off her phone alarm.

 

           3:26 in the morning. These nightmares felt so real, but looking down her arm was still intact and attached to the rest of her body. The wolf tattoo still visible on her forearm. Shaking her head, Irys threw her covers off and stood, padding down the hallway to check on her kids.

 

Solana was laying on her futon, one of her legs hanging over the side and her laptop still open on the floor, displaying a page of her science report. Thomas had fallen out of his toddler bed, again. Thania giggled in her sleep and pulled her stuffed halla closer to her chest.

 

This year had been hard on all of them, but right now it was peaceful. Things were finally settling without Thom; Irys no longer cried herself to sleep, Thomas no longer asked for daddy, and Thania no longer asked when he was coming home. Solana, Irys knew, was still grieving. Her teenage daughter was less consolable than her four year old twins. To Solana, her dad was a hero. He had saved fifteen lives the night he died.

 

Irys closed the decorated door to her daughter’s bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She really needed to move; Thom was everywhere in this house. The ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron hung in its place, untouched in the last year. The crystal halla statuette he got Irys for their seven-year anniversary sat, gathering dust in the curio cabinet.

 

The twelve years they had together in this big house was now full of fond memories: painting the nursery when Irys was pregnant, teaching Solana to play the violin in the small music studio Thom built for Irys. So many memories of a happy, loving marriage. Now it just hurt to look at.

 

Without too much thought, Irys turned on the coffee maker. Early shifts at Haven Memorial Hospital were going to be her ultimate demise. When the coffee maker dinged, Sera had finally risen from the depths of Irys’ basement. Both women grumbled hellos as they gathered their things for the day; doctors started early, especially when they want out of their houses.

 

Irys showered, dressed in clean scrubs, woke Dagna for the kids, and packed her backpack for the next 24 hours. She hated overnights at the hospital, but it was part of being a surgeon.

 

“...and then he was tachycardic. Irys, are you listening?” Josephine asked. Irys snapped to attention.

 

Irys shook her head and stuck her tongue out, “No, I was looking at this kids films. I'm not sure I can retract this aneurysm,” she said as she held the scan up to the light for Josephine to see.

 

Josephine took a sip of her coffee before it nearly came out of her nose. “Irys, don't look now, but that new general surgeon just walked out of the elev -- I said _don't_ look.” Josephine said as she quickly grabbed a chart and pretended to read it.

 

Irys didn't get it- she is the Chief of Surgery, why didn't she know about a new surgeon? “Who hired him? That's Solas Fade. He's won two Sacred Ash Awards in the last three years.”

 

“Irys, you have five of them for your research on that cure for mountain cough. I hate it when you don't give yourself credit,” Josephine said before everyone's pagers went off.

 

Irys’ throat closed when someone said explosion. The sirens of an incoming ambulance shook her straight and she pulled her lab coat off and bolted past the new doctor towards the emergency room.

 

**Solas**

 

Solas’ eyes landed on Irys as she spoke to Josephine. He never expected to see her here. What was _this_ Irys like? Who was she? What did this timeline have in store for her? Solas should've known she'd be a doctor; she lived to helped people.

 

She ran past him before he could introduce himself. People were talking about an explosion at a nearby shopping center.

 

**Dorian**

 

Irys had what Dorian called a 'fun’ O.R.. She always had music playing because she couldn't work in silence - not after Thom's accident. Dorian rolled his eyes as he scrubbed in. She had _High Hopes_ playing over the room speakers. Some nob in an expensive suit was ogling her from the gallery.

 

Dorian looked at Irys, her flowery scrub cap, surgical mask and apron spattered in blood as she drilled bur holes in this twelve year old boys skull.

 

Dorian knew she was an artist at her trade. How many lives had she saved?

 

“What do we got, Dr. Rainier?” Dorian asked as a nurse pulled on an apron and gloves over his arms, chest and hands.

 

**Irys**

 

Irys fought through some sharp pain in her left palm until she couldn't take it anymore. “Dorian, take over. I'm going to go see Ortho about this pain in my hand.” Dorian nodded as she set her instruments on the tray next to her and backed up.

 

As she scrubbed out, Dr. Fade entered the scrub room. “Sir, you can't be in here right now,” she said, flexing her left hand. The pain had dulled for now. She pushed past the bald elf in the nice suit.  

 

All day, he seemed to be following her around the hospital. Tried even to stand in on one of the multiple craniotomies.

 

Irys wasn't sure what he was playing at, but she was glad when the influx of emergent patients died down. She closed the door of her office, and not five minutes after she sat down at her desk, _he_ knocked on her door.

 

“Come in.” Her voice barely concealed her irritation as she typed up the reports on the six patients that coded in her O.R. today.

 

Dorian led the bald elf into the office, and stayed as he flopped down on the grey leather couch and pretended to look through an Orlesian fashion magazine.

 

“Doctor Fade, welcome to Haven Memorial Hospital.” Her voice was barely audible as she didn't look up from her computer screen after he sat.

 

“Beautiful children.” He was commenting on the photos that decorated her shelves and her desk.

 

Irys internally rolled her eyes before folding her hands in front of herself on the desk and gave a fake smile. “Are we here to discuss my children or your position in this hospital?”

 

The next hour was spent reviewing his resume, which she had read the night before. Twice. Shaking his hand, he seemed disappointed with her professionalism. “Dorian, I'm headed to pick up the twins from daycare and then to the gym. Tell Sera I'll pick her up in the morning.”

 

Dorian nodded, and she pulled a hoodie over her maroon scrubs and gathered her backpack before fleeing the building.

 

\---

 

The next morning, Sera glared at Irys from across the breakfast table; Dagna had picked her up.

 

“I'm sorry Sera, I had a creepy doctor following me around all day yesterday. He looked at me like he knew me.” Irys looked into her coffee mug. Since Thom's death, she had opened up her house for her friends to stay in any one of the 15 bedrooms. Now, the bedrooms were half full. Dorian was dating Ojaan Adaar from radiology, Bull was dating Hayley Trevelyan from O.B.. Cullen, head of Peds, was probably the only one of the twenty people in the house that paid rent besides Dagna, Sera and Irys' brother Xander.

 

As the kitchen filled with doctors and their kids, everyone's pagers blared from backpacks, pockets, jackets. Wherever they happened to be set down.

 

“Car accident on I-18. Let's go,” Bull said as he grabbed his green pack from the long row of room-numbered bag hooks. Hayley half-blinked as she dumped her coffee into a travel mug. Saturdays were always hell for Haven Memorial.

 

Solana was helping Thania put on her shoes as one of the residents, Mirielle, gave little Thomas a high five. This was Iris' Family. “Justin, can you get them to daycare for me?” Irys asked and a young man nodded.

 

“‘Course, Irys. I will text you when they're safely in June's care.” He pulled Thomas's coat over his little arms and off they went.


End file.
